The last week of June and the first week of July always marks the annual fortnight when Wimbledon takes place, however Wimbledon and tennis in particular is not for everyone. Do you find the concept of hitting the ball over a net to someone else ridiculously tedious? Do you find it very difficult to sit in silence without heckling players? Do you feel that tennis as a sport needs livening up? If so, all the answers and solutions are right here.
It is traditional at Wimbledon for players to wear all white, but where’s the fun in that and if you’re watching on television, how can you tell which player is which when they all wear the same clothes? Well wonder no more. Players should play in a national costume. For example, Andy Murray is horrendously boring, but imagine him running around the court wearing a kilt. The same with a German player running around in lederhosen, the game would be much more fun to watch. The umpires shouldn’t be exempt from this either. There’s been a recent rise in umpire abuse in tennis, therefore to completely assert authority and let everyone know who’s in charge, they should be required to wear a judge’s wig and hold a gavel.
Currently players emerge onto the Wimbledon courts to a round of light applause, immediately followed by silence. How dull! What’s to stop players walking onto the field of battle to “Eye of the Tiger” or “Seven Nation Army”, the crowd will be instantly entertained and embrace the action. Darts isn’t a spectator sport, but with the added impact of walk-ons and music, it’s fast becoming a must see thing.
The aim of tennis is to successfully hit the ball over the net and aim to beat your opponent. It’s not always possible to do this, meaning that the net comes into play. The Australian Big Bash introduced flashing bails to the world, so why not have a net that lights up once the ball has made contact with it. Failing this, get rid of the net completely, and get reality TV stars to stand/kneel as a makeshift net. Let’s see how fun they think they are when there’s a 100mph serve coming their way.
Being a ball boy at Wimbledon is the closest that any member of the public gets to the Wimbledon courts, however is it a job that’s actually worth doing? Can the youngsters be replaced with well trained dogs and puppies? Everyone loves dogs and they wouldn’t look ridiculous when holding their paws up to offer players the ball.
Breaks in play
Now, a five set match of tennis can last for hours and to many viewers, it’s exceptionally tedious and requires alcohol. Players should feel obliged to join in as well. Robinsons are proud sponsors of Wimbledon, but mix it with a bit of vodka and it’ll be much more entertaining for the crowd. What about a round of Beer Pong, where players can’t return to the court until they’ve sunk all six cups? Currently the breaks in play are the only time where the crowd can engage in conversation with their neighbours, however in a break at every other sporting event; Neil Diamond’s Sweet Caroline can be heard being belted out. Get some atmosphere in at the breaks Wimbledon!
Tennis racquets are the most essential piece of equipment for tennis players, but it’s not fair for the best players to play with the same sized equipment as those who aren’t as good. In the early rounds, Djokovic and Federer should be playing with ping pong bats, whilst anyone who plays an English player should be made to play with a piece of soggy newspaper that’s been wrapped in fish and chips. Essentially, the better the player, the less surface area they should be allowed to hit the ball with.